There’s Something About Cougars

This morning, I was listening to Jack FM, a local Los Angeles radio station. As it turns out, they are hosting a cougar competition and have narrowed their selection pool to about sixteen over the top, busty, partial-Playboy wannabe women. Round four takes place this Sunday, and final votes will be cast on April 2. The winner gets a Nissan 370Z.

I browsed this website to find some questionable (but work-safe) photos of women in lingerie and bikinis. Jack FM’s Cougar mania is superficially hilarious with its collection of fake boobs, platinum blonde, and sparkling-white teeth galore.

The marketing language is even better: “Push Up Panthers, Saberfoothed Sirens, Den Mothers W. Benefits, and Cub Rustlers.”Jack FM is definitely dragging the public through a hazy mess of something funny, awkward, and maybe kind of wrong.

On my quest for more insightful interpretations of the term “cougar,” I discovered Urban Dictionary’s take: “an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man.” Other favorites include “overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim” and “35+ year old female who is on the hunt.” As always, thank you Urban Dictionary.

Jack FM & Urban Dictionary are undeniably funny, but my rational senses wonder if I should be offended. I mean: promoting all kinds of “gold-digger” stereotypes about women? Look hot, and flash your teeth for a new car?

I’ve always thought of the term “cougar” as one of empowerment: stay beautiful at any age, look how you want, and don’t be afraid to age. After all, the fierce cougar persona comes from within.

I’m 23 and by all means, not a cougar, but let me tell you: each year after my 21st birthday has been terrifying! There’s so much pressure for women to stay beautiful as they age. My male friends have often joked, “Men look better as they grow old, but women just go downhill.” Ack! In a world where people actually believe this garbage, cougars give me hope that I can stay young, vibrant, and beautiful.

So what happens when Jack FM objectifies the ever-so powerful cougar? Should the beautiful women of the world scowl and turn away, or do we laugh along with this practical joke on female empowerment and beauty?

Is there justice in the world for cougars? Or will the term forever describe the over-the-top ladies that young women and men simultaneously mock and admire at clubs?